The BEST News!

Sean just came back from the mailbox with a letter for me. It is my first signed contract and retainer fee!

I'm officially in business folks!

I'm so happy I'm crying! What a wonderful day!

May this be the first of many such letters I receive.

**PS, I know I owe you an accounting of the last week in my life, at least an accounting of my last week in craft as well as pictures of adorable kids, but it will have to wait a few days as we are off to another (and final) family holiday celebration today. Thanks to everyone for your kind words to me and my family. I hope you have all had a happy, stress free holiday!

Hello From Vacation!

Hi all! We are on vacation for a few days. We are up in Collingwood, on the edge of Georgian Bay, which is the bottom tip of Lake Huron.

It is beautiful up here, but unseasonably mild. Blue Mountain ski hill, and most hills in Ontario, is closed due to no snow.

I'll elaborate more later but I just found the "Internet Room" where guests are allowed about 30 mins of free net time. I was scared I couldn't survive without my email and blogs, but this is definitely goign to keep me sane!

I hope everyone is having fun with last minute Christmas prep.

Love you!
Leanne and the Family!

The Spirit Of Christmas, in 2 parts

Sometimes there are retail items that, when purchased and given to someone with a need, really enhance a person's life: both the gifter and the giftee. I'm not talking about a box of groceries or new winter boots, I'm talking fun stuff.

Take for example, the sleek little Insignia Sport 1GB mp3 player the kind folks at Best Buy asked me to try out.

Now, I don't need another mp3 player. And, frankly, the portable mp3 applications for a stay at home mom are a bit limited, but I knew that this little matte black beauty would make someone in particular very happy. Besides, the package claimed it was compatible with PCs only and I have a thing for nice crisp apples.

You see, my sister was returning to work a couple of weeks ago, a month and a half shy of her full year of maternity leave, for the second time. It was going to be a big day: she was returning to work, leaving both her babies with a kind caregiver in the neighbourhood with the knowledge that she'd never again have that special time home with her kids for days and weeks and months on end. In summary: despite being a bit nervous, she was pretty pumped to get back to her old routine and bring home a few extra slices of bacon!

A few weeks before the big day she was lamenting the bus ride to and from work. She knew how boring commuting could be. If only there was a way to keep her mind distracted?

Enter stage left: Best Buy's house brand mp3 player.

The lightweight flash memory player showed up and I knew exactly what I was going to do with it. I made a date with my sister, brought over the Insignia mp3 player and set about bringing my sister into the digital age.

Only, there was a little hitch: she doesn't have internet service. Never has, never will. These mp3 players are designed to be used with programs that are constantly connected to the internet. After all, part of the devil's deal between the technology and the music industry is that mp3 players can be loaded up with music that can be purchased in online stores. The Insignia Sport was no different.

I called the Help Desk. The man on the other end of the phone helped me circumvent the online setup process, circumvent the use of Windows Media Player, which was 2 versions too old to be compatible with this player and set the player up like a storage drive. After 30 minutes on the phone, the Insignia 1GB Sport mp3 player was drag and drop ready.

I showed my sister how to rip her personal cds with WMP and drop the newly created mp3s into her player. Then I showed her how to access the files on the player itself so that she could listen to her favourite tunes waiting for all those city buses in the dead of a Canadian winter.

The player holds about 1000 mp3s or up to 250 photos, which can be easily viewed on its small but surprisingly sharp screen. It weighs almost nothing and recharges when it's hooked into the computer via USB, so no pesky batteries to worry about - the internal power cell life is reported to be about 8 hours. The only drawback is the headphones, which are earbud style. I hate those! The sound quality was fine, but they never stay in my ears and my sister apparently has the same ears. But, I suppose a future investment in a cheap or mid-range pair of proper headphones is a resonable plan.

I left my sister with the player and she promised to give me a report after her inital set of three shifts.

When she called a few days later, she was practically giddy. "Leanne, I love it! It's easy to use and even though my bus ride isn't that long, I love listening to music instead of worrying about stuff." This was good news!

She said, "I stayed up for a few hours after you left and put more music on the player and I even put a bunch of pictures on it! It's like a digital brag book! Now I can show everyone at works all my favourite pictures of the kids!"

Then she added, "Oh, and the headphones aren't too bad. I use my winter headband to hold them in my ears!" That's my sister, the queen of ingenuity!

So, I'm happy to be able to say that this is a nice little player. So far, my experience with Insignia products has been great. And the best part: it retails for approximately $80. This would be good for a teen or a non-techy in need of a simple mp3 player.

And, if you have questions about this or other Best Buy products you might be buying this holiday season, they are hosting a chat at AskABlueShirt.com tomorrow, Friday December 15, at 1PM (I'm guessing that's 1PM Eastern, but if you're interested, I'd double check on their website).

---

Now, I have something a little more serious to mention. A close family friend discovered recently that her preschooler had a massive tumour that was putting pressure on one of the little one's eye and important areas of her brain. When I found out last week, my heart broke. The mother is young and I know that it's hard enough raising kids under the best circumstances.

I'm really relieved to learn that the operation went as well as it could have gone. I know that the little one lost all of her sight in one eye and part of her sight in the other eye. I don't know yet whether there will be any cognitive or functional losses or changes. though they predicted a loss of some sight in the other eye, there was none. Mum and daughter are doing great. Thanks to big sis and aunty Lisa who gave us an update in the comments!

I wanted to send out my love and support to her mother, who sometimes reads this blog. She is a brave woman to see her daughter through these difficult times. I wish her daughter a speedy and happy recovery.

I'd like to ask that you, dear readers, keep both of them in your hearts and go and give your little (or not so little) ones an extra hug and kiss tonight.

A Very Flickr Christmas

This was the actual photo we've used for a couple of the Christmas cards we sent out. If you click on the phot, you can see the special treat Flickr gave it's users this Christmas season.

To do this to your own or your friend's Flickr photos, go to the photo page of the picture you want to decorate and add one or two notes: "ho ho ho hat" and/or "ho ho ho beard". Then, just resize and position the elements as you please and voila!

Another gift from Flickr: they've recently upgraded their free account so that you can upload a max of 100MB per month. It used to be 20MB and as a result I started downsizing images and jpg quality so that I could upload more images per month. I guess I don't have to do that anymore, though it doesn't hurt!

Thanks Flickr! Merry Christmas!

'Tis The Season To Be Conflicted

Let me just tell you now, so that it's out in the open and you don't get disappointed on the big day: our ability to be Santa is seriously compromised this year.

As part of my decision to start my own business instead of returning to the corporate world, our finances have been rather precarious. Some weeks are worse than others, but Sean and I are both trying to keep us afloat until I can get a few clients lined up. We're hoping that things will start to get a little easier here on in, though with the new baby coming this summer, that will be a new challenge.

Of course, part of this newly poor situation is the inability to afford store-bought gifts and the supplies for many handmade gifts. My recent illness left me unable to do more than take minimal care of myself and Kieran for part of the day and killed most of my normal holiday crafting time. No stack of pretty handknit washcloths this year! Sorry folks!

Sean and I have discussed a few things that we'll be making, to help express our love and appreciation to people, but those things will be modest.

One thing this predicament and enforced thriftiness is showing me is that the normal consumerism I had participated in at previous holidays is becoming increasingly unappealing and artificial. Truth be told, I've been pulling away from holiday consumerism for some time, but this year has made the artificialness of the whole thing that much more blatant.

It used to be that when one needed a thing, they bought the thing. Didn't have the money to buy the thing? One would save in order to purchase. So, if you felt you needed a new nightgown, you bought a new nightgown. If you needed makeup, you purchased some makeup. Lacking, and needing, a drill? Why, put away a few dollars each pay and you can walk down to the hardware store and get yourself a drill.

But, now, walk into any store, from Home Depot to Zellers (KMart?), Sears to The Bay, and hundreds of gift options are laid out before you. Gift packs of underwear for the man who might like silk boxers, tool kits, foot spas and dressing gowns. You don't even need to think much, just grab a pre-packaged gift in your target price range and it's likely to be appreciated by the receiver. I mean, who doesn't like more tools? Or foot spas? Or fancy soaps? Or cute holiday themed socks?

We've been watching more holiday themed stuff on TV now that Kieran is old enough to fully participate in the whole Christmas mythos (the non-christian, Hollywood created mythos, that is!). There is one clear message that keeps coming through: there is a "true spirit of Christmas" that has little to do with buying your brother-in-law an electric shaver. The real "giving" at Christmas has to do with giving of oneself and not of one's pocketbook.

Of course, through all of this, my desire to give a gift that will delight someone has not diminished. I'll just have to be more inventive and modest this year. Still, there is that need to make someone really excited and to pass along a physical token of my love and caring for particular people. Sometimes those tokens are store-bought, though I have been trying hard to make them with my own hands these last few years.

I firmly believe that the giving of my time and creativity, even if the end result isn't the most valued gift, means more than some generic gift certificate or boxed set of chocolates. Of course, I do love chocolates!

It's a sticky situation, isn't it? This desire to become more honest and more giving of myself and yet, I do love to buy, give and receive stuff!

Does this dilemma ever plague anyone else at Christmas?

What You Won't See On The Christmas Cards This Year

*Two posts in a day?! Crazyness has broken out here at momcast!


Yesterday I took Kieran out onto the front porch to take a quick Christmas portrait. I'm not a fan of formal portraits, personally. They always look quite stiff to me.

Did you know that when applying to Universities, I applied to and was accepted to the Photo Journalism program at Ryerson in Toronto. I was so scared of living and trying to survive in "the big city" that I never took them up on their offer. My life might have been so radically different!

But, anyway, that instinct to find real life in photography is why Kieran is standing on our porch in a clean but everyday sweatshirt for his Christmas photo.

I'm not a terribly great letter writer or card sender. If I owe you a thank you card, be patient, I haven't forgotten, I've just procrastinated for so long the guilt of those cards is eating me away inside like a cancer. But, this year, when the first card we received was from Sean's Grandmother, who is in her 90's, still lives independantly, in Scotland, I realised that I'd have to get off my duff and write a letter and send of new photo of Kieran.

Here are a few of the outtakes.

Christmas Portrait Outtake #1

"OK Kieran, let's try again, and this time keep looking into the camera."

Christmas Portrait Outtake #2

"C'mon, Kieran! Smile nicely! You look like an alien when you smile like that!"

Christmas Portrait Outtake #3

"Kieran, the whole point is to smile, not look annoyed."

I Do?

Lately Kieran has been obsessed with marriage. Specifically, he's obsessed with marrying me.

He cuddled up to me in bed the other night - yes, we still co-sleep many nights - and said, "Mama, I love you. I want to marry you."

"Well, sweetie, sons aren't supposed to marry their mothers," I said gently. "Besides, I'm already married to Daddy."

"But, I want to marry you," he repeated, closing his eyes and resting his cheek on my shoulder.

"I already have a husband."

"But you could be my husband, Mama!"

Well, there just isn't a way out of that one, is there? Not without tears.

The next day, Kieran showed me his wedding ring. It was a key ring, sans keys, that he trapped on his finger by making a tight fist.

Holding his hand out to me for inspection, he gave me the sweetest-smile-on-earth TM and said, "I love you Mama. You're married to me."

"OK, sweetie, we're married," I capitulated. I mean, I couldn't do anything but after he pulled out the sweetest-smile-on-earth TM!

He threw his arms around my neck. "Ahhhhhh, Mom! I love you."

This is a phase, right? They all do this?

So Excited!

I just got back from my first true client interview. As many of you know, I already knew my first clent quite well and all other births at which I provided labour support happened before I launched my business.

So, that makes this interview a very special one. And, I can hardly contain myself! Because I GOT THE JOB!

About half-way through the interview, the mum, who is pregnant with twins, told me she was so relieved that she felt comfortable with me that she knew she didn't need to interview any other doulas; I was the doula for her!

Since she lives out of town but it undergoing close monitoring at a local hospital, we'll be doing our prenatals at the hospital - which luckily has lots of areas appropriate for sitting together for long periods of time as it doubles as a university. I quite like that idea. It's a nice neutral place, still comfortable and convenient for the couple.

Despite still having that sports-9nduced asthma thing going on with my lungs, I got off the bus early and worked off some of my adrenalin with a brisk 6 block walk home. It took a lot of effort to keep my lungs working properly, but it felt good to be out walking. Much like walking on a cloud, you could say! I smiled at everyone and everything, stopping briefly to make friends with a shih tsu wearing moccasins.

Now I have to channel that excitement into making a little soup for my lunch. My mum and stepdad have Kieran for another 30 to 40 minutes and I want to take advantage of the alone time.

OK, here I go, off to skip and giggle! Anyone else in the area need a doula before June?

When It Rains, It Pours

As if I weren't sick enough!

The day after finishing my week of antibiotics, I discovered, while wincing through a bathroom visit, that I have a Urinary Tract Infection. Whee! I confirmed this when I suddenly had to pee again, 90 seconds later. And then again, 90 seconds after that.

The doctor's office confirmed the fact when they discovered, and I quote the nurse: "a whole lot of stuff in your urine." Apparently, the lack of storage space in the apartment has attacked my body and I'm storing extra things in my pee. Whee!

The UTI is brought on by a combination of being pregnant and doing Kegels after coughing in an effort to stem all that incontinence. But, I've got a happy little bottle of pills to clear this up.

In happier news, I should be symptom from by Wednesday when I have MY VERy FIRST CLIENT CONSULTATION!

I'm very excited. A woman from out of town who is pregnant with twins and receiving prenatal care in town here contacted me about my birth doula services. We are getting together in the hospital cafe after her next OB visit to see if we like each other.

I'm trying to be very zen about the whole thing, but I'll probably start sweating tomorrow afternoon! I'm going to have to spend a few minutes going over, in my head, how I'm going to present info about doulas in general and myself in specific so that I don't sound like a blabbering dork when we meet.

It is a wonderful challenge and oppourtunity.

I also just finished a weekend long Childbirth Education workshop. Which means I can now teach a childbirth education class! Another way I can work to empower women and their partners to make the best decisions for their own health care.

Lucky

I have been lucky to have these two men in my life.

Since getting sick, Kieran has been a really well-behaved boy. He has made it easy on me during the day. Yesterday afternoon, while giving me a cuddle, he declared solidarity with my pregnant self, announcing that he, too, was growing a baby inside himself.

I've been brushing up on a few birth related items for a pre-workshop exam I am writing up (I have a Childbirth Educator Workship this weekend). While thumbing through an old Sheila Kitzinger book about pregnancy and childbirth, there are photo essays on the birthing process illustrating reclining births, kneeling births and waterbirths. Kieran, ever curious, poked his head over the book and remarked, "Hey! A baby! That's you, Mom!"

Every pregnant and birthing woman is me in his eyes! I thought I'd test the waters a little and told him that he could see his baby sister or brother just like that, newly born and on my chest, if he wanted to. He definitely wanted to. So, pushing a little further, I showed him a few images of babies in the process of being born. He didn't cringe at all, as I feared. He found each of those images fascinating. Five seconds later he was pretending to be Optimus Prime and I knew I hadn't scarred him for life!

I think children will go with you, intellectually and emotionally, if you lead them gently. I've always been open with Kieran about things that some may believe to be too intimate and he has always proven mature enough in his own way to handle the info. Over the next seven months I'll gently help him to learn what normal childbirth is and see how he takes to it. I'm willing to bet his natural curiosity and love of learning will lead him to a fascination and eagerness about the birth of his sibling. The thought of it makes me proud.

Sean, too, has been pretty good during my sickness. He made a couple of meals, fetched drinks and meds and helped out a little more with Kieran. I couldn't have survived without that support.